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The Worst Town In America & The $200 Italian Beef Sandwich

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on Saturday, 12 October 2013 in Jay Harris's Blogs

You might recall I did a show in Chilicothe, IL in July for which I got a speeding ticket for going 6 miles over the limit. Well, I'd requested a court date, and never got one. Instead, I had to file a "Motion to Dismiss" the automatic guilty ruling, because according to the Prosecutor, "we do things differently in Ottawa, IL."  In fact, the only reason why I got some face-time with the Judge is, I argued with the Prosecutor about my only 2 options, neither of which were to my satisfaction.  The Judge wasn't sympathetic at all, and essentially told me -if I was driving 1 mile over the limit in his county, I'd be guilty. I didn't want to return to the "Worst Town in America" ...so I sucked it up and paid the $200 fine.  After paying the fine, I noticed the  Judges last name was "Scooge"...one r away from being "Scrooge" and close-enough to "Screwed".

Needing to self-medicate after the beating I took,  I stopped at a classic fried chicken place called Dell Rhea's Chicken Basket, located in Willowbrook, IL. The only true competition for them is White Fence Farm, which is in neighboring Romeoville, about 9 miles away.   On Thursday, along with there regular buffet, Dell Rhea's brings out their famous Buffalo Chicken Wings. They were fantastic, and there's pic of them below, along with the chicken.

Less than 36 hours later, after doing an open-mic Friday night in the city, I stopped at Molly's for a cupcake. Realizing that I was out of milk, I stopped at the Walgreens to get some, than ran across the street to get an Italian Beef sandwich at Portillo's. 5 minutes later, with food in hand, I walked back to Walgreens. It only took me a second to realize my car had been jacked by Slimebuckets, otherwise known as Lincoln Towing Company.  This was the second
time these fu@#$'ers have gotten me. The first was about 5 years ago on the far Northside of the city. 

The place where my car was towed to was on the far Northwest side, so I had to take a bus 1/3rd of the way, walked another 1/3rd, and hitched a ride from a cop the last leg.  The compound looked like the one from the movie the Road Warrior - barbed-wire fences, pit bulls that hadn't eaten in weeks. The guy behind the 5-inch bullet proof glass looked like Jabba the Hut, and he wanted $198.50 for my car. The guy claimed to not have change, and threatened to not accept my rounded-off amount of $200 if I said another word. I'm thankful I had a good show in Menomonee Falls, WI last night. 

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