I was driving towards Sioux City, Iowa last month, when I found myself in the midst of a snowstorm. I didn’t take it seriously, cause it was the first snow of the season, and wrongly assumed it would blow-over quickly. Additionally, I’d forgotten that two of my tires were bald, and needed replacing. It’s usually a combination of things that lead to a negative outcome in life. My car spun out of control, and I ended up crashing into a ditch and hitting a carcase. The guys been dead for 6 months, and still managed to get me !

There’s also the never-ending amount of police patrols hiding along the roadways, eager to pull me over. I make sure to drive the speed limit, but many times it varies widely – so its easy to go over unintentionally. Towns like Ottawa, IL depend on saps like me for their entire fiscal budget. That’s why I once proclaimed it the “Worst Town in America.” Eating poorly is another hazard for a comedian. I try to make healthy choices, but you’re bound to trip-up, based on sheer numbers. I’m convinced that’s why McDonald’s is so successful. On any given road-trip, I’ll see 20-30 McDonald’s. It’s easy to pass on the first 25 or so, knowing there’s another right down the road. Eventually though, you’re gonna cave, either because there’s nothing else open, or you’re just plain starving. A lot of times, the last two choices you have are McDonald’s or gas station junk-food.

I was lucky enough to catch a ride from a stranger, who graciously drove me to Sioux City – it took us over 3 hours to drive what normally would’ve taken only 30 minutes. I’d never hitch-hiked before, but desperate situations require desperate measures. He showed me his Facebook page, and his last name was Guzman- as in “El Chapo” Guzman, Mexico’s #1 Drug Cartel Kingpin, and currently the most wanted person in the world. He told me he was a distant cousin. Turned out he was kidding, but I’d wondered what I’d gotten myself into. I’ve been driving all over the map lately, but I’m fortunate to be doing what I love. Below, the “Gold Rush” from Harris Pizza -butter, olive oil, garlic, mozz -in the Quad Cities, Iowa. And an Oaxaqueno chicken tamale from Cafeteria La Loma, inside Mercado Central Food Market- Minneapolis, MN. Incredible.